If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
