i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
