If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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