Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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