and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
