Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
