Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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