i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
