So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
