we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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