What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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