cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
