i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize