Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
