Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
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