That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think people are normalizing furries
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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