that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
