And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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