I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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