Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
