I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
