just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
