Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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