True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
