508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
