I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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