tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
