Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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