A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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