i need an iv and a liver transplant
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
