Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
