so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
