If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
