i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
