I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
