I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
50% drunk capacity currently
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
