weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think my mom watched the whole time
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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