You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize