you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
