im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
