The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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