What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
