singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
