You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I am naked and annoyed.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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