Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
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