She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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