At least make sure they are 18
Why
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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