Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
