Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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