I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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