Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
