I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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