I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Your cock deserves a montage
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
