there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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