im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
