Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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