i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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