Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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