Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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