Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
